Mononormativity in Therapy: Breaking Down Barriers

As a therapist who both treats and is a member of sexually marginalized groups, I’ve come to understand the profound impact of societal norms on individuals who exist outside of the dominant narratives. I’ve experienced firsthand the added stressors of living in a world that is not designed for us.

One of the most significant hurdles in providing effective therapy for individuals in consensual nonmonogamous (CNM) relationships is the pervasive influence of mononormativity and the resulting lack of education. This prevailing belief system, which privileges monogamy as the default and ideal relationship structure, seeps into the biases of clinicians and dictates the approach to treatment, even in cases where it is not appropriate.

Navigating Jealousy in CNM: Challenges and Opportunities

The default treatment for issues such as jealousy, a common concern in many types of relationships, is often based on assumptions rooted in monogamous frameworks. CNM for instance creates a unique opportunity to highlight individuation within the context of a relationship. However, this gets lost in mononormative paradigms, which pathologize jealousy and focus on eliminating it, or even pathologizing it as a character flaw, and blaming low self-esteem.

This poses a dilemma for individuals in CNM relationships seeking mental health support tailored to their unique dynamics. Without adequate training and understanding, therapists inadvertently overlook or misinterpret the complexities of non-monogamous relationships, leaving clients feeling misunderstood and underserved. And there is a lack of adequate training available!

Challenging Stigma: Advocating for Diverse Needs Benefits Us All

Therapists must recognize and challenge the stigma surrounding nonmonogamy – and must find help doing so. Clients navigating CNM relationships face a myriad of challenges stemming from societal norms and misconceptions. These challenges can manifest as heightened mental health needs and contribute to systemic strains on our healthcare resources.

As therapists, we have a responsibility to expand our understanding and embrace the diversity of human relationships. By delving into the phenomenological perspectives of jealousy and other relationship dynamics, we can develop more nuanced and inclusive counseling interventions. This not only benefits individuals in CNM relationships but also promotes healthier connections across all relationship structures.

Journeying Toward Inclusivity: Healing Ourselves and Others

In our practice as sex therapists, we must create a safe and affirming space where clients feel understood and supported, regardless of their relationship configuration. By actively dismantling barriers and prioritizing inclusive mental health support, we can foster healing and resilience in all our clients.

Let’s commit to challenging the status quo and advocating for the diverse needs of our clients. Together, we can create a therapeutic landscape that celebrates and honors the richness of human experience in all its forms.

While healing my clients, I am also healing myself. Thank you for joining me on this journey toward greater inclusivity and understanding in therapy.